Mr. Wu Award #1: O'Guvnah Martin O'Malley (August 13, 2009)

In the great HBO series "Deadwood", the Chinese in the mining camp were lead by a Mr. Wu. Mr. Wu did was a, shall we say confidante, of entrepreneur (pimp, murderer, drug kingpin, etc.) Al Swearingen. But Mr. Wu did not speak much English. In fact, the only word that Mr. Wu really spoke was "cocksucker", which came out more as "cocksuckah".

It is therefore, with great pride that I inaugurate the Gunpowder Chronicle's brand new "Mr. Wu Award", recognizing from time to time, that individual (or organization) that displays the distinct traits of an ignominious cocksucker.

Our inagural award winner of the "Mr. Wu Award" is the Governor of the State of Maryland, Martin O'Malley.

What has O'Guvnah done to be recognized as an ignominious cocksucker? Well, a lot actually. Tax increases. Fake furloughs. Massive spending increases. Breathing. But I want to highlight his little gamesmanship with the Maryland Association of Counties meeting in Ocean City.

You see, every year, all the elected county mongrels get together in Ocean City on the taxpayer's dime to get slobbered over by state employees, also visiting Ocean City in the height of the summer season on the taxpayer's dime. And of course, the Governor of the Great State of Maryland must throw a party.

When Bobby Ehrlich was in office, the Republican Party paid for the party. But when O'Cocksucker was elected, he decided to start using his money from the Governor's Office (taxpayer money) to pay for the party. This year, that party was being held at Seacrets, and was going to run a smooth $12,000. But then O'Cocksucker decided that such extravagance looked bad, given his complete and total inability to actually make a budget, and so he canceled it.

And now enters one of the biggest lobbying firms in Maryland -- Alexander Cleaver -- who decides to pick up the tab for the party.

Just what the fuck are these people thinking?

Having a huge player in the lobbying game pay for a party for elected officials and state employees seems like a good idea? Are you fucking nuts, O'Guvnah? Really, have you had your brain checked? Did Mrs. O'Guvnah hit you upside your head with a frying pan?

While Marylanders struggle with energy costs, while Maryland companies struggle with your overbearing tax increases, while Marylanders in general struggle to pay bills and clothe and feed their families, you are going to let a lobbying firm cough up a cool twelve grand so you all can party?

O'Guvnah, because you such a worthless fucking elitist who could find his own asshole with both hands, a flashlight, and a press aide... you are hereby granted our Inaugural "Mr. Wu Award".

You sir, are a COCKSUCKAH!