Cigar Smoke and Mold Exposure Has Truly Caused Joe Albero To Be Deranged

Salisbury, MD: The Cigar smoke combined with mold from the run down 300 West Main St has formed an unknown viral infection Joe Albero's brain. It is recommended he be isolated and especially not be around children. As bathing has not been a part of his daily routine this has increased his toxicity.

Joe's ridiculous rants and accusations are clear symptoms of a an unknown medical condition. CDC officials are concerned about any and all flatulence coming from Albero. The combination of mold exposure and cheap cigars creates an incredibly toxic situation. This is the main reason parents want to make sure their children are nowhere near this walking toxin.

Local officials are looking at quaratining him in the Albero Bird Santcuary in Pittsville, MD. However, many Pittsville residents do not him in their town. One resident said, "He is Delmar, Delaware's problem. They should not even allow him in the State of Maryland. He is such a disgrace to humans."

The Wonderful Wizard of Monitor Court has received information from the highest levels in the Maryland government that they are looking at deploying the National Guard in response to this situation. Once captured, they will turn him over to the CDC, where as we understand it, he will become a human laboratory rat. In his case - Donkey.